Suffering From Malnutrition? You might be...

I'm currently watching YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT on BBC America. Dr. Gillian McKeith made me stop and think about the things I eat. Gillian McKeith is very up front and in your face about what the wrong foods can do to your body. For example, she's told a woman that she must be suffering from lack of sex drive, examines people for oral thrush...she even examines their poo describing in detail the size, shape, consistency, and smell and what it all means for their overall health! On today's episode she is helping a woman who ingests 28000 calories a week (said to be enough to sustain 2 people for a week) of which is mainly sugar. She told Joanne, the participant, that sugar is hard for the body to digest. I knew refined sugars were not the best for you and turned into fat more readily than other food substances but I didn't realize that the body has to crank into overdrive from that Hershey's bar I ate last week! I guess it's like the liver working over time to process the carbonic acid in soda...hmmmm. Anyway, she also told Joanne that despite the fact that she weighs 22 stones (308 pounds. According to Gillian is 140 pounds or 10 stones overweight) she is in fact malnourished. Her body is ingesting an enormous amount of food but it's the WRONG kind of food for her body to run properly. What do you think about that?!

For each participant who calls on Dr. McKeith for help they are monitored for a week to track exactly what  they are eating and then they get all of that food and spread it out on a table for them to see exactly what's going in while the narrator reads down the list. Here's an example of the dreaded table of food. If you had to put a weeks worth of the food you've been eating on a massive table would you be proud or seriously refiguring your diet?

Much Needed Motivation

In lu of my emotional crisis over the past week I have decided to not let small set backs become mountainous obstacle. So I have been trying to remeber some of my external motivators. In this case people who keep me going. Besides the contestants on THE BIGGEST LOSER who are a motivation in their own right I am getting excited about the new season of CELEBRITY FIT CLUB. Just check out this season's cast.

THE CAST OF CELEBRITY FIT CLUB 2010

Show to air February 08 2010

Kevin Federline (Mr. Britney), Shar Jackson (actress and Federlines baby momma #1), Bobby Brown (Whitney's crack partner), Nicole Eggert (Baywatch Babe) , Kaycee Stroh (High School Musical), Sebastian Bach ( Former front man of Skid Row, Actor-Gilmore Girls anyone?), Tanisha "pop off" Thomas (Bad Girl's Club Season 2) and Jay McCarroll (Season 1 winner Project Runway).

                                                

Holding On and Letting Go

I am currently watching THE BIGGEST LOSER and Migdalia was threatening to quit after Jillian tried to be nice in order to open her up as she was isolating herself from the rest of the contestants. After she was getting nowhere per the advice of Bob Jillian got mean with her. She point blank told Migdalia that holding in all of her emotions and putting up this front was what had caused her to become over 300 pounds. Then she proceeded to tell her that her 9 year old daughter would end up overweight and unhappy like she was because she has been taught that crying and emotions are there to make someone "weak". With no other outlet in which to express herself would inevitably cause her to follow in her footsteps as she has followed in her mother's footsteps (for those unfamiliar with this season's biggest loser:  this season is another one with couples. Migdalia and Miggy are a mother daughter team. Migdalia has a 9 year old daughter at home). All of this got me thinking. Although Migdalia took all of the rationale as an insult, exploded and wanted to quit and go home, I completely agree with Jillian. It is important to note that unlike her usual expression Jillian was not yelling at Migdalia through her diatribe. "There is always more to losing weight than the food" INDEED. I have often substituted emotions with crying and blocking out the emotion with food. I thought that if I could find something I enjoy like eating or hanging out with and around other people I could hold down the emotion when I had nowhere else to turn. Since I am often by myself and feel like I am complaining I feel I can only cry to myself and hold all of my emotions inside. Without a viable outlet I turn to food for comfort whether I am aware of it or not. The problem is exacerbated by the fact that I like to eat in front of the tv in order to forget or numb whatever is currently bothering me leading to mindless eating. But it doesn't end there.

I have to confess that I tend to panic. If anyone has ever had a panic attack you know how that feels. Since I have nowhere to process or expel my emotions I also hold onto things from whenever. Sometimes out of the blue I will remember a past experience or situation and obsess about what I could have done, should have said, what I am missing out on and how my life is "the worse off" for it even if that is logically not the case. I spend most of the time talking myself off of a ledge, sometimes for no reason at all.

It has been so easy for me to turn to food because it has always been the one constant in my life. 99.9% of the time it's always good. There's always something for you to choose from for whatever mood you happen to be in. Turning to sex wouldn't work because my body image halts any kind of idea of intimacy in any way, turning to furthering myself academically ( I have a Bachelor of Science in Textiles btut would love to go back to school to pursue a masters degree) or career wise is stopped by the fear of failure. But I have suffered for this attitude towards food, body image, and overall mentality that I am not good enough to succeed in whatever I want in life. In the end my one comfort in the end has failed me and continued this vicious cycle of self hatred/abuse and lack of motivation.

The first step to changing is to acknowledge your feelings and deal with them in the open (finding an outlet that allows you to let go and move on so you can live your life as you are and not someone else you are trying to emulate), stop living in the past (dwelling on the what could have or should have been) and giving yourself some slack.

A Balance of Weights and Measures

First, It's day 10 of me exercising and I have to say that I am feeling very triumphant. I have a scedule of workout for January and today it was LESS IS MORE CARDIO with Cindy Whitmarsh. I access this workout from exercise tv. As mentioned in a previous post the ON DEMAND channels were not working for about a week so I lucked out and did not have to do it last week Today, however, I had no choice but to suck it up and get it over with. To those who find themselves checking out this workout for themselves may find themselves laughing because the workout is but a mere 30 minutes...try it for yourself. This 30 minutes is an intense ass kicking! Although I dread doing this workout when it ends I inevitably feel incrediblly STRONG. I then got on the elliptical and peddled for 25 minutes rotating between resistance levels 1-5. I seem to be on a roll!

Now, I know that weight loss has to do with more than a number on a scale but I always think of my weight loss in terms of dropping pounds. I am trying to focus on how my clothes are fitting. I have even made a chart with size measurements complete with my current measurements and how many inches I need to lose in order to fit into the next size down. But the scale is always the focal point.

When weighing myself I find that before I step onto the scale my heart starts beating faster. Will I have lost antother half a pound or have I gained 3 (as it always goes that if I have managed to gain weight it is two to three times the amount I have lost)? The need to know keeps me in front of the scale every morning but this week I have managed not to step on it more than once Monday Morning. I should put it away but...

Never Give Up!!

My ON DEMAND channels haven't worked for the past couple of days and today was no different so I was unable to access Exercise TV on demand. I could have used the computer to access the Kendal Hogan workout I had planned to do but didn't want to go through the hassel so I checked out FITtv. A workout called Cathe Fitness was coming up at 12pm and decided what the heck? Cathe is the one front and center in the pic. So I grabbed all the weights I had and my gardening pad I use for push ups and was feeling pretty good about finding an alternative.

When the workout started I almost freaked out because Cathe Freidrich and the ladies on the screen were using 45 pound barbells but I quickly grabbed my heaviest weights and proceeded with the activity making modifications to accomodate the free weights I was using in lu of the barbells they were using. Okay, panic averted...or so I thought. The next set of exercises used a balance ball. I quickly ran back to my room to dig out the fitness ball only to find it deflated and without a pump to blow it up. Trying to think quickly I grabbed my two layer step used for THE FIRM workout (the fanny lifter) and made do with that the best I could for the stability exercises using the ball. In times where I would have reclined on the ball I laid on the floor.

Usually hurdles like these would prevent me from following through with a workout and I would find myself easily discouraged and give up for the day. Today I triumphed by thinking fast (since the exercise was on tv I couldn't pause it) making modifications in a workout and getting the same workout with the equipment I had. Now I know that when I don't have everything I think I need, instead of running from the workout I can and will get through it! Yay me!

By the way-Cathe freidrich is no joke. She laughs through the whole workout but she really puts you through your paces!

Skinny V. Strong

Besides wanting to lose weight to become thinner I often wonder why other people want to lose weight. I remember the contestants on THE BIGGEST LOSER season 4 where the contestants had Goal T-Shirts. There are of course health reasons for losing weight which are very much an importaant part of becoming a leaner, healthier you but what about FITNESS GOALS. I can't say I have every really had a solid fitness goal because I was always so focused on becoming a skinny version of myself rather than a healthier, stronger version. I have found that as I continue to search weight loss blogs, websites, and other sources I want more and more to become as strong as the women pictured or shown. It would be nice to be able to run a mile. I can't run down the street without feeling like my life is coming to an end heading straight into the white light. Strength and conditioning: to eventually become an athlete.

When I get discouraged I have to remember that excess weight is a side effect of poor eating habits, lack of activity, illness, etc. and can be corrected.

Besides 200 pound weight loss hopefuls aren't the only ones who have transformed their bodies: Demi Moore didn't always have that body! ;-) So it goes without saying that you have to start somewhere and not be afraid to exercise FAT. There's no other way to do it.

For added encouragement when I am overwhelmed by all of the changes I am making and struggling to make exercise a part of my daily routine and get down on myself because the weight isn't magically disappearing I remember the words of Mike Huckabee who said:

Take care of health and fitness and the weight will take care of itself.