Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Suffering From Malnutrition? You might be...

I'm currently watching YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT on BBC America. Dr. Gillian McKeith made me stop and think about the things I eat. Gillian McKeith is very up front and in your face about what the wrong foods can do to your body. For example, she's told a woman that she must be suffering from lack of sex drive, examines people for oral thrush...she even examines their poo describing in detail the size, shape, consistency, and smell and what it all means for their overall health! On today's episode she is helping a woman who ingests 28000 calories a week (said to be enough to sustain 2 people for a week) of which is mainly sugar. She told Joanne, the participant, that sugar is hard for the body to digest. I knew refined sugars were not the best for you and turned into fat more readily than other food substances but I didn't realize that the body has to crank into overdrive from that Hershey's bar I ate last week! I guess it's like the liver working over time to process the carbonic acid in soda...hmmmm. Anyway, she also told Joanne that despite the fact that she weighs 22 stones (308 pounds. According to Gillian is 140 pounds or 10 stones overweight) she is in fact malnourished. Her body is ingesting an enormous amount of food but it's the WRONG kind of food for her body to run properly. What do you think about that?!

For each participant who calls on Dr. McKeith for help they are monitored for a week to track exactly what  they are eating and then they get all of that food and spread it out on a table for them to see exactly what's going in while the narrator reads down the list. Here's an example of the dreaded table of food. If you had to put a weeks worth of the food you've been eating on a massive table would you be proud or seriously refiguring your diet?

Flat Feet=Shin Splints

I barely got through my workout on Friday because a bad case of shin splints. A week before I was hindered by a very sore knee that stopped me from completing squats and lunges effectively so instead of fighting through the pain I took some time off this weekend and didn't workout. Since I didn't exercise I had convinced myself to take it easy and went a little crazy with the food. Saturday, not bad, but on Sunday it's like I couldn't shovel the food in fast enough. The result? Stomach pain like you would not believe all night long. It's a wonder I got any sleep at all. Lesson learned? I certainly hope so!
Yesterday I still had a little pain in my knee and modified each exercise to avoid unnecessary stress.  It may be time to invest in a better pair pf shoes. Any suggestions? I have very low arches...okay so I'm flat footed so I need all the help I can get. Even a good orthotic suggestion would be appreciated.
Also, Michelle of A HEALTHIER ME informed me that the comments function was not working on this blog. After fighting with the template and numerous trips to Blogger Help I finally got the comments to work....COMMENT AT WILL!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Fitness Goals

It may sound weird to the people that know me to think that I have always wanted to become a civil servant and join the National Guard or the Army Reserves but have always been too afraid. Once upon a time it was afraid of getting hurt but recently it has been the fact that I wouldn't be able to get through any type of physical activity. I was further disheartened when I looked up the requirements for the Army Reserve and found that I was too heavy according to their physical fitness guidelines. Regardless of that fact I wrote down the fitness components and stored them away. Even more so that becoming a part of the armed forces I am very interested in becoming a police officer. That may not happen any time soon but it has definitiely become my motivation to push myself every time I workout. A look at the local police academy video for Orlando (it's 27 minutes long but if you can watch the first 2 minutes and see how intense the women are in this program-thay are training just as hard and as intensely as the men) will show you just how in shape you need to be before you get to the academy and how hard you have to work once accepted. I mean just look at the Police Women of Broward County or the new crop of women to hit the tv spotlight in the new series Police Women of Maricopa County (Both series air on TLC, Maricopa being the new county for the second season to air on the 25th of this month). These women mean business.


At a minimum, each law enforcement and corrections recruit must meet the fitness standards listed below. Recruits will be assessed on each exercise at the beginning and end of their academy, and must participate in the physical training and defensive tactics mandated by the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, Criminal Justice Standards & Training Commission.

Push-ups: Complete at least 15 push-ups in one minute

Sit-ups: Complete at least 25 sit-ups in one minute

Vertical Leap: Leap vertically at least 12 inches above their reach

1.5 Mile Run: Complete a 1.5 mile run in 18 minutes or less

300 Meter Run: Run 300 meters in 75 seconds or less

Physical fitness at the academy is intense, be physically fit on the first day. Our instructors and your classmates need you to be in the great shape on the day you start.
So now I am working on building my endurance up to begin the recommended at home training
Preparation Instructions:

Build up to running 3 miles a day, 4 times a week.
(One method to achieve this goal is to jog for 2 minutes then brisk walk for 1 minute and repeat for 30 to 40 minutes. Work your way down to jogging for 3-5 minutes and walking for 45 seconds. Keep reducing the walk time until you aren’t walking anymore.)

When the run is over, immediately drop down and do as many sit-ups as you can (until it is impossible to complete another repetition). Take a 10 second break and then repeat twice more.

When you are finished with the sit-ups, immediately drop down and do as many pushups as you can (until it is impossible to complete another repetition). Take a 10 second break and then repeat twice more.

When you are finished with the push-ups, complete 5 squat jumps (jumping as high as you can every time). Take a 10 second break and then repeat twice more.


I feel like I've been MIA for the past week happens.
So, I've been thinking a lot about the season premier episode of RUBY on STYLE this past Sunday. The overwhelming topics were DENIAL and ENABLING. I had to really  think about that. It's hard to label anyone as an enabler, especially if they are close to you but acknowledging the fact that it may be happening will only help you in the long run.

I ended up staying with my grandmother for three days. While she has low fat everything, makes a big deal out of every calorie she puts in her mouth, and often throws around derogatory remarks about fat people when she saw me she made a comment on how I was looking good. I told her that I had been working out to which she said, "If you lose any more you'll be too thin." WAIT A MINUTE! This coming from the woman who told me that I was still young and had time to take off the fat a week or so earlier? Hmmmmm. Her husband is the same way. He constantly makes comments about my single status and the fact that if I would lose some weight I would look more approachable and maybe I could catch a guy. HATER!

Then there's my mother. In all her infinite witticism constantly brings up the fact that I'm on a diet and can't eat [fill in the blank], laughs, and then gives whatever it is to me anyway....WHAT? GGRRRRRR. Family.
With this nonsense going on I have to ignore their hater-aid and keep my goals in mind.

Denial was topic number 2. When it comes to denial I find that I am the master when it comes to food. If I am tracking the calories I eat in a day I will sometimes eat the extra cookie and not count it because, hey, it's just one more cookie. But isn't that how it all starts? In instances like this I have to channel Dr. Phil:  "You can't fix what you don't acknowledge," fess up and move on.

How do you deal with enablers, denial, and all of that?

Sunday, February 14, 2010



 Okay so I'm not that enthusiastic about today but like many people that doesn't stop me from indulging in the finer delicacies provided by the holiday:  chocolate, cupcakes with pink and red frosting, heart shaped cookies...all of it. Thank you St. Valentine!!! There would have been a time when I would have used this day to eat an entire box of donuts by myself because-it's a holiday. But I didn't do so bad. I ate what I wanted and reminded myself that if I was still hungry I could go back for more-IF I am still hungry and if not there is always more for tomorrow. So this weekend has there been some overeating? YES. Will there be more? Probably, but within reason. The exercise doesn't stop!

I am also excited that tonight the season premeire of
airing on the
STYLE Network @8pm

If you're not familiar with Ruby:  Ruby is a native of Savannah Georgia and at one time in her life weighed 716 pounds. When viewers met Ruby she weighed over 500 pounds. Through diet and exercise she has become successful in dropping an amazing 200+ pounds and counting.  In addition to using traditional weightloss techniques Ruby has had to go through what many who take on any type of weight loss endeavor and get real about why she eats, when she eats, and the past that has been holding her back from becoming healthier sooner.  GO RUBY!!!

Here's a couple of videos of Ruby explaining her journey and a clip of Ruby talking about her weight loss and the show.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Vegan Cheese and a Rockin' Sock Workout

Today I woke up to a ham and cheese with egg sandwich mad with bread, egg beaters, low sodium reduced fat ham, and veggie cheese. I have had vegetarian cheese before and it was NOT anything I would have ever eaten again but this stuff was pretty good and it is only 40 calories a slice! Cool beans (See pic on the left. This is the exact cheese I had). I'll put cheese of all types on almost anything so for me this is a huge plus. Later, after spending four hours at the nearest AARP free tax-aide site I had a six inch roast beef sub from Subway which was excellent.

I thought I my not get a chance to workout since I am at my grandmother's house but I was able to access the workouts I had scheduled for today on the internet. The only problem I had was having to do both Jillian Michaels' Shred 2 and Kendall Hogan's Bootcamp Calorie Burn in my socks on the carpet. Besides being obsessed with calories my grandmother also has a no shoes in the house policy so I didn't even bother trying to wear shoes in the carpeted room I used (she also has plastic mats lining the floor in her bedroom and as I sit here and type it's through a layer of plastic she has wrapped around the keyboard!). But I survived it even though I thought I was going to slip and crack my head open a few times doing skaters and squat thrusts so I eventually took my socks off. I may be home tomorrow but who knows...another sock workout?

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

To Gradmother's House We Go

I plan to spend the day with my grandmother so I got up and worked out this morning from 8:40 to 10:15. Everything in me told me to stay asleep but I begrudgingly rolled out of bed and got onto the elliptical and watched Monday's episode of Heroes I missed On Demand. Then did Cindy Whitmarsh's Less is More Cardio. I couldn't believe I got through it-but I'm glad I did. Spending the day with your grandmother would send most people trying to lose weight screaming for the hills being that grandmothers like to spoil you with food. I don't have that type of grandmother. For as long as I can remember she has exercised and counted every calorie and fat gram she has ever put into her mouth. When I went to her house to visit for a few days over the Christmas holiday she and my aunt spent many a long night obsessing over what they ate that day or the caloric content of a corn flake! I always feel like a cow around them but I refuse to be compulsive about food because food is meant to be enjoyed. PERIOD! I'm staying with her tonight so there is bound to be some non fat, minimal calorie, shouldn't have had that cookie talk...wish me luck.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Back on Track With a Couple of Last Straw Moments PART 2

Last Straw Moment #2
I was able to keep the weight off but I wasn't at my "goal" weight. My social life blossomed and I was very active in school the next few years. I was assistant director of the women's center, the vice president of the Clown Alley on campus, and so on and so forth. Every time I went somewhere there was food. Most of the social time spent with friends was eating. I put on some weight but didn't think to much about it because it was "only 5 pounds" (It was really 10 pounds). By the end of my junior year I was starting to feel a little junky but I chalked it up to stresses of responsibility. Senior year started-I became the director of the women's center and I had gained most of the weight back. The year started and I was pulling double duty with 18 credit hours, two jobs (women's center and student coordinator at the health center), campus ministry responsibilities, life groups, homework and preparation for graduation, all of it. The biggest stressor was the women's center because my board and I weren't clicking like we should have and the stress was unreal. This last straw moment I call the F*@# It Moment. I was walking to my office and just gave up. I literally stopped in the middle of the brick walkway and said F*@# IT! out loud. If I was going to be this tired and stressed every day I was at least going to find something that made me feel better because as I had convinced myself "I deserved It". So I turned around and went directly to the Hardess in the Union. So I didn't look like a typical fatty I stuffed the bag into my back pack and headed to my office. I dropped off the food and walked next door to the Starbucks (they built a free standing Starbucks in the middle of campus right next to my office) and got a Venti White Mocha Latte and ate all of it at my desk. This is how I ate every day for the rest of the year. Total weight 226 pounds. I told the cap and gown people that I was 200 pounds thinking that I weighed a lot but didn't look that heavy (DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL) and that maybe I would lose 5-10 pounds. I lost 4 by graduation at the end of April 2008 but my gown was a little tight and it was hotter than a mofo in the Tally Civic Center. I realized then that I had let myself go. By that time I had also stopped wanting to hang out with anyone and avoided many a phone call to go out because of the way I felt and looked. Not good.

I moved back home in August after graduation and lost 12 pounds from the stress of living with my mother. February 2009 I got a job filling in for a PE teacher and felt like crap because I was the fat PE teacher. I don't have a car so I ended up walking most places (riding the bus and walking to my destination or walking to and from work which is a 10 minute drive but a 90 minute walk) and lost 12 more pounds. I was also too tired to eat like had been eating when I got home. Walking to and from work and being out in the hot sun was enough to put me into a coma. Working as a PE teacher woke me up to the fact that I was completely out of shape. Most things I tried to get the students to do on the field I couldn't do without getting winded so I didn't and to me that was embarrassing. During the summer I worked at the same school as a camp counselor and I refused to do any physical activity with the kids because I was afraid of anyone seeing me out of breath or super sweaty. CRAZY!!! It made me realize how I have been holding myself back from succeeding after college because I am afraid of how people would perceive me becuase of my size. I was also pretty bitter. Unable to find work and living with my mom (we don't get along) made me think of all of the crap I have been holding onto from the past.

I realized that this is no way to live. I also realized that I am fat now but that doesn't always have to be the situation. Losing weight isn't just about becoming a stick. It's about bettering yourself from the inside out and I can see that now. I am focusing on making myself stronger, physically and mentally. I have been working on ways to deal with emotional and mental stress in other ways besides food; I am learning to let go and not allow stress and doubt to deter me from reaching my goals-weight loss and otherwise.
So this weekend I reworked my workout schedule for the month so I won't have to worry about figuring out what to do for the day-I'll just do it. I have also tried to rewrite a list of things I would like to do. You know all of the things you leave off the list because you don;t think that YOU could possibly do them...

Back on Track With a Couple of Last Straw Moments PART 1

It's been a rough week. Motivation has been down and while I have been exercising I have not been in it to win it. Eating has been a mess and all over the place, and...I didn't exercise at all on Sunday! GASP! But I am back on the wagon.

I know this is a long post but I have to take the time and remember and acknowledge how I got to where I am now
I had to do a lot of reevaluating this week; I had to remember why I was working out in the first place which led me to remember what BitchCakes called MY LAST STRAW MOMENT (click the link to her page to read her last straw moment documented back in 2007). I have 2 last straw moments.

Last Straw Moment #1
I was starting college in 2004 which should have been an exciting time in my life but all I remember was going to freshman orientation over the summer and feeling like garbage the entire weekend. The first thing I noticed when walking into the ballrooms at Florida State were all of the tiny girls everywhere. I now see that I was in denial about my size. I had done ballet for 13 years so I was never really big but I thought I was compared to all of the waifs I danced with. When I stopped dancing I put on the pounds by eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I mean I would pile chips on a plate and by the end of the night have eaten the entire family size bag! I ate them and other snacks like it (crackers, oreos and other cookies, etc.) on a large plate because as long as I wasn't eating from the bag or carton I wasn't really overeating. YEAH RIGHT! Needless to say by the time I graduated from high school I was 195 pounds and very puffy looking. I kept telling myself that I was in fact bigger but I wasn't as big as [insert name here]-I just wasn't that fat. I even bought THE FIRM system I kept seeing on tv so I could, you know, "tone up a bit". But I wasn;t just a little bit bigger...I was FAT. I didn't start getting real about my problem until I graduated.

Aside from the fact that I was one of maybe 3 other larger females in the ballrooms I could no longer deny the physical condition I was in. I am from Central Florida so the ground is flat. In Tallahassee there are hills everywhere! What should have been a leisurley tour around campus turned into the most exhausting excursion I had ever experienced. I was already very uncomfortable standing next to all of the petite girls. We had yet do move and I was already sweating! As we trekked up hill after hill from building to building twice I thought I would either pass out or just dip out on my group and catch up with them somewhere later down the line. I though it can't be! I'm in great shape! OH THE LIES WE TELL OURSELVES. By the end of the weekend I wanted to do nothing more than go home and never leave the house. I was hideous! But that event only made me depressed about the way I looked and my size and made me eat even more. I started school at FSU weighing 195 pounds. The first semester I spent avoiding my weight issues by focusing on classes and enjoying my freedom. But I wasn't enjoying it at all. I spent all of my time alone in my apartment watching tv. The thought of joining anything was simply out of the question. What would people think with me the big girl crashing their meeting. Going to the gym was laughable. I told myself fat people can't go to the gym (at least not at Florida State where everyone in the gym is there for maintenance). I even started scheduling classes around tv shows. That's when I knew there was a problem. By the second semester I was even more miserable. Spring break rolled around and I remember thinking "people are making plans for spring break and all you can do is go home beacuse you've secluded yourself from the real world beacuse you think you're too fat to be accepted". Home isn't somewhere I wanted to be (there are a whole host of family problems I can't easily talk about without becoming angry so I won't). Something had to be done. So I spent Sunday making a list of groceries, Monday greocery shopping, and started on Tuesday. Like Oprah said let today be your I did. I started using Slim Fast as a way to monitor my portions. I did eat real food with the Slim Fast like the directions say to and I strated using my FIRM system. Except I thought that the workout schedule included wasn't enough. Week 1 on THE FIRM I used soup cans because I didn;t have weights. Week 2 I got weights and added NAC Body Parts to the Schedule so instead of taking days off like the schedule suggests I I alternated between the two. By week three and beyond I was doing THE FIRM Cardio Sculpt and NAC Body Parts EVERY DAY. If I missed a workout I would tack it on the next day so if I did only Body Parts one day the next day I would do Cardio Sculpt, and then Body Parts TWICE! Yeah. obsessive I know but I thought that I was ugly and fat and since ugly isn't easily changed I had to lose the weight. THANK GOD I no longer think like that but I was able to lose a substantial amount of weight and thought I looked pretty good.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Food and Cravings = ?

I have been doing pretty good with eating fewer calories. Since I have been able to lose 8 pounds as of my first weigh in I have been motivated to really stay on track with eating and working out. It is hard to stay motivated to exercise because...let's face it...who really likes to workout? I do understand those who say they like the high they get after working out but that really doesn't do it for me. What has kept me motivated is the watching the way my body is changing. Fitting into my clothes better is reason enough for me to keep going. Not to mention that each time I work out I get stronger and then get to move on to the harder moves. Bring it Jillian!

Okay, back to eating. I don't have the funds as of right now to buy full on groceries to cook any type of elaborate meals so I have kept it simple. As the funds start coming in (which may not be for a while) on the regular my next goal is to change simply hitting a specific range of calories into changing the foods I am eating. Don;t get me wrong I do eat fruits and vegetable when I can get them but they don;t seem to be the center of my eating. I ususally have apples, bananas, lettuce for salads and sandwiches, and then green beans and some other type of legume for dinner. See? Simple vegetables and fruit choices. I also buy bran flakes or oatmeal, eggs, yogurt, bread or pasta (wheat of course), cheese for sandwiches, and some type of soup and eat all of those in rotation everyday. As the budget expands so will the list (...Oh the joys of having a decent paycheck! There was a time where I went to the grocery store every couple of days just because. I love grocery shopping and it really sucks not being able to buy the food you really want...).
I think because of this monotony right now all I want to do is buy junk food. As I mentioned before when it comes to junk food you need to GO BIG or GO HOME! Tonight I have eaten some werthers candy which I love and as I am typing this it is tempting me to make all of the baked goods in the house and eat them in one sitting. Okay maybe not in one sitting but I have been known to eat an entire cake by myself in one day-you know-a slice at 8am, another at 10:30am, and so on and so forth. Cravings are a killer. I can usually get through them but sometimes I want the Large value meal with a side order of cake.
This is what I am tempted to do when people are around me eating what they want and I am making healthier more conscious choices: order everything on the menu and stack it together and chow down!
It may seem small but I have to remember that 8 pounds is 8 pounds that I can leave in the past and 14+ inches is nothing to scoff at. Do I really want to derail all of the effort I have put into losing that 8 pounds by binging on cake? Sure there will be days where the fries will win over the side salad but you better believe those fries will be the children's size!!!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Weigh In #1

Good News! I lost 8 pounds and a total of 14.75 inches! I am glad that I was able to lose the 7 pounds I had hoped to lose but I am more excited about the inches I have lost. I can't believe it!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!! In the next 30 days my goal is to lose another 5 pounds. I am glad I am trying to do this the slow and steady route; As stated in yesterday's post I'm not expecting to see Biggest Loser numbers on the scale so I am not setting myself up for failure. I have to remember that the weight will not come off in a couple of months and that if I am going to succeed I need to be able to take the highs and lows in stride, keep on moving forward, and set myself up for a life full of healthy change. Now repeat that for another 330 days...

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Have you ever felt like this guy?

Although I have worked out every day this week there hasn't been a day that's gone by that I have wanted to stop mid workout. I'd be on the elliptical for 20 minutes with 10 minutes to go and think "This is really sucky. I could be asleep right now or watching tv" and be seconds from stopping. What has kept me going this week is my first weigh in day which happens tomorrow and the thought of having worked so hard thus far and giving up. I have also been happy with the results I'm seeing. This past weekend I was trying to find something to wear to a memorial service and was shocked and ecstatic to find that all of my blazers fit! Before exercise started I was unable to button any of them comfortably and some of them I was unable to wear because they were too tight across the back. Sunday I was able to close all of them! Success! But even that couldn't stop me from wanting to give up.  Well I did get through today's exercise:  30 minutes on the elliptical, Jillian Michaels' Frontside and Jillian Michaels' Backside. It took a while but I kept thinking about pushing myself. Well, tommorrow is another day and I am motivated to weigh in in the morning. I find it really strange that I am having anxiety about getting on the scale. I am afraid that despite my efforts I have not lost but a couple of pounds. I'm by no means looking for Biggest Loser numbers but the 5 that I have planned on would be magnificent. Actually since I started at 202 I am hoping for a 7 pound loss. We'll see...

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Keep On Keeping On

This morning I was pumped about adding something new into my exercise rotation (yoga) but as the day went on I found myself feeling really bad. I've been eating like crap (not a lot just a little but even a little can make the excuses come rolling in and before you know it I'm in my room for 4 days with a basket full of junk food...I mean...hypothetically...) and I really didn't want to work out. I was so tired but I pushed on and did it anyway:  Jillian Michaels' shred 1 and Kendal Hogan's Boot Camp Calorie Burn.

 Now I am watching THE BIGGEST LOSER and the YELLOW TEAM made it back onto campus. I have to say that the weight loss the yellow and blue teams have been able to acheive is INCREDIBLE. Cherita and Victoria (mother and daughter) lost 63 pounds in 30 days! 24 and 30 pounds respectively. AMAZING! Oneil lost 51 pounds and Sunshine lost 25 pounds. AMAZING!

Watching this episode I realize that I am able to push myself harder and farther than I think I can go...hopefully...weigh in #1 to come Friday! Motivation!

I am not a Pretzel...But I Can Try to Bend Like One!

Thanks to Stella Swift , The Shrinking Violet, I am on my way to becoming a yogi. While I do prefer cardio and weight training I am finding that yoga is just what I need to relax while strengthening my core. The best of both worlds! Also because of yoga I find that I am able to laugh at myself which I often forget is a very viable alternative to beating myself up when I don't immediately master another yoga position or anything else on this journey to health and fitness. I do my exercise at home because I am comfortable in my house and because I have exercise tv where there is every conceivable workout you can think of with every trainer imaginable but as suggested by Ms. Swift a yoga class outside of the house would probably be better for me. I may become a hermit no more! I'm totally pumped!

Thanks Stella!!!!!!!

Monday, February 1, 2010

4 More Days!!!

...Until I weigh in for the first time since I started working out and eating better. Even though keep my scale outside of my bedroom door I have been able to stay off of it. I also have to remember to measure myself. I should put my original measurements next to my weight...I'll do that later. I started Jillian Michaels' 30 day slimdown which includes Jiliian Michaels' shred 1, shred 2, shred 3, burn fat boost metabolism, and No More Trouble Zones. Since Febryary has 28 days I will be cutting out 2 rest days of the 4 in the schedule so I can complete it for the month of February. Some days I am able to add these new workouts to the workout schedule I have been following. I remember the first time I tried shred 1 way back when and thought I was going to die. Today I was that it? That's how I know I am getting stronger. :-)

Here is a link to the plan. The exercises can be found on Exercise TV on demand or